Rep. Burton: Is Ken Lewis a liar?Ben: In general or about the us telling him he would be out on his ass if he didn't close this deal?
Rep. Burton is mostly interested in whether people are liars or not. He's shuffling papers frantically because he's old and just woke up obviously.
Burton: I used to be the Chairman, thankyouverymuch and when people are lying, they don't remember stuff.
Ben: Fine. I don't recall.
Burton: Does Alvarez work for you?
Ben: Yes.
Burton: Are you his boss?
Awkward pause because, this question is obviously the same as the previous and is therefore idiotic.
Staffer awkwardly interrupts...and...time expires...Whew.
Foster asks two questions and is finished. Wow. Not expecting that.
Ben is such a gangsta, Last three responses:
1. Meeting was about an hour, yes.
2. I don't know
3. No.
NEXT!.
Rep. Jordan can't handle this.
Jordan: Can you see how this seems like you were giving the KL the Vietnamese water torture?
Ben: Not if you're an informed individual, which you're obv not.
Rep. Speer looks like she belongs on Housewives of New Jersey
She can't believe that Ben doesn't crunch the numbers himself and that doesn't know who did.
Ben: I don't carry a calculator around in my jacket pocket, contrary to popular belief.
Speer: SEC is involved aren't they?
Ben: Nah.
Speer: We're all one government aren't we?
Ben: They're on need to know basis. They didn't need to know.
Speer asks continues to ask questions that obv below Ben's paygrade and she looks continuely stumped by his responses. She yields the rest of her time because she has an appointment to get acrylics done.
Rep. Chaffetz of UT is not buying Ben's story.
Chaffetz: If I was Ken Lewis and you said that to me I would have pissed myself.
Ben: Yes. You would have.
Chaffetz is reading emails now and basically says Ben is a two-face.
Chaffetz: did you threaten them?
Ben: C'MON GUYS! LOOK AT THIS BEARD! DOES IT LOOK LIKE I WOULD THREATEN A PUGLE, LET ALONE KEN LEWIS, WHO IS MUCH MORE CUDDLY?
Rep. Connolly: Because for me, it's opposite day, I'm confused about who's threatening whom.
Connolly: Did you feel that should be telling the American people that if this deal didn't happen that the world would explode?
Ben: We put that on Ken, he has 24/7 liquid courage.
Connolly just wants to say that Ken Lewis is a gunslinger and Beard and Bald are the ones are the real victims here. GOSH.
The last Rep was incredibly yawn-worthy. Moving on...
Rep. Kaptur is the Maxine Waters of this committee: HERE. WE. GO.
Kaptur is talking about money creators, counterfeiters, BlackRock, Bank of America, Fannie Mae, is there a question in our future?
Kaptur: What year did something happen?
Ben: I don't know
Kaptur: Do you think it's important that you know?
Ben: Are you kidding me, lady? NO.
Kaptur: Well, I think it is. There could be Fed collusion (THERE IT IS!) with BlackRock. How can you assure us that there isn't?
Ben: You want the contracts? I'll give you the bloody contracts.
Kaptur: The contracts that are posted on your website have things missing, mysteriously, I might add.
Ben: We have a website?
Kaptur: BlackRock contracts are at the heart of this thing and I hope we can get to the bottom of this.
Ben looks appropriately confused.
Rep. Souder is talking about Asian flu and other things and gets scolded by Towns for not talking into the microphone. He mentions Bank of America, which is the first time it is brought up in the last 15 minutes. Tax dollars at work people, tax dollars at work.
Rep. Watson is PINK today for the big show. She's from L.A. so she might be channelling some Maxine Waters madness...She'll state questions and then you'll answer them Mr. Bernanke. No respect, no respect.
Watson: Do you think KL was suprised about the losses at Merrill?
Ben: How the hell would I know? I do know that he can drink enough to drown.
Watson: Was KL's threat to invoke the MAC for real?
Ben: Do I have a huge-ASS sign around my neck that says, "I LOVE REPEATING MYSELF"? Sphere: Related Content
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