Rep. "I'm from Baltimore" Cummings: I get it Ben. I get it man. But actually I'm confused. You say, you expressed concern about the MAC. You didn't believe that KL was up for the job. Yes or no?Ben: That's not a yes or no answer Baltimore.
Baltimore Cummings: So he's just dumb when it comes to material...uh....MAC's? But then you said, "Ken I'm smarter than you, just do what I say"?
Ben: Basically.
Baltimore Cummings: Everyone in this room understands that KL was peeing his pants. Except for Kapture over there who only wants to talk about BlackRock. Would you want Paulson to use the Vietnamese water torture on Ken Lewis?
Ben: I didn't tell Mr. Clean to do anything. What did I say about repeating myself?
Rep. Clay is up now and he's sitting next to Pink Lady Watson which has got to be distracting. The dude needs some shades if he's going to be sitting next to her.
Clay: Are people better off when they're uninformed about a bank that was going down like the Titanic.
Ben: Probably.
Clay: Was it really necessary to save AIG? I mean, c'mon, really, was it?
Ben: Look man, I wasn't willing to go down the rabbit hole. This is not fucking Alice In Wonderland. I pulled the trigger. I'd rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way.
Ben is one cool dude. These questions are flying off of him like bullets off Superman. He finally unfolded his arms though so he might be cracking.
Rep. Fortenberry has some kind of gray Rod Blagojevich thing going on. He yields his time to Rep. "who's a liar" Burton, who barely gets the question in and Ben scoffs.
Rep. Welch: KL said Merrill was a good deal but just left out that little thing about the losses. When he does drop that tidbit, he says everything's cool because the Fed and the Treasury would have our backs. True or untrue?
Ben: Pretty much I guess.
Rep. Kanjorksi (?): Threats. Lies. Not sure I'm down with those words. I'm looking at you, Burton. Tell us how fucked up things were so people don't forget that we were on the brink.
Ben: Finally. Things were bad. Real bad. Not bad, like Michael Jackson, Bad. Like breadline bad. Like Mel Gibson/Mad Max, Kevin Costner/Waterworld/Postman, [enter other crappy apocolyptic movie here] bad.
Rep. Turner has voted against every bailout, thankyouverymuch. This guy is taking the opportunity to say that he introduced an amendment to the Constitution that would prevent the Federal Govt. from owning equity in a private company. There is no question coming....He wantsBernanke's thoughts on the Amendment. Of course.
Ben: Dude. You're out of your league. Failure is good but BIG FAILURE is not good. You've got to approach big failure like trying to get ahottie in the sack. Slow, controlled, methodical, and then SCORE! Or something like that.
UPDATE:Finally, they're wrapping up at 1:10 EDT. Issa and Burton win the grandstanding awards for this particular session. Both of them think Ben is a liar. Burton is going on about socialism and just feels like yelling at Ben.
Ben unfolds his arm to point back at Burton, so he's obv, pissed.
We're cutting out of this early. No chance for Maxine Waters gives us an out. Sphere: Related Content
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