It will come as no surprise to regular visitors of this blog that I absolutely detest small talk, a common form of dialogue for inhabitants in the corporate world and almost universally spoken among accountants. What I haven't discussed in detail is an advanced dialogue that is spoken by many, understood by some, and baffles all that come into contact with it: reversespeak.
For you scholars out there, yes, this is an Orewellian derivative, however, I'm hardly the first to utilize Orwellian influence. Mr. Orwell has turned out to be right about so many things that it's becoming increasingly cliche to reference the dystopia in the literary classic. But I digress...
The folks at Stuff Accountants Like have addressed this in some form (link below). The purpose of my post is to actually start an increasing body of analysis of this language. The more information that can be spread will no doubt be helpful to those professionals still in practice so they can avoid potential pitfalls as a result of not being familiar with reversespeak.
Reversespeak is incredibly difficult to follow and can it can be turned on and off by the speaker at any time. A hypothetical exchange appears below. See if you can see who is utilizing reversespeak:
Manager: Good morning hard working associate!
Associate: Uh, hello manager.
Manager: Have you had a chance to finish up that project that I assigned to you?
Associate: You mean the one you first told me about last night around 8 pm and is logistically and substantively complex?
Manager: Yes. That sounds right.
Associate: No, I haven't started on it yet
Manager: That's OK. I don't really expect you to work on the weekend or be able to go back in time and complete the project prior to me even asking you about it.
Associate: Uhhhhh....OK?
Manager: Oh, and don't worry. This won't come up in your project assessment either. It's really not that important.
Can you pick out the person using reversespeak? This may come as a surprise to you but it was......The Manager. I know, hard to believe.
Let me just translate for those of you that are not fluent in reversespeak:
Manager Statement #1: Good morning hard working associate!
Translation #1: What time did you get in to work today? Have you done a damn thing?
Manager Statement #2: Have you had a chance to finish up that project that I assigned to you?
Translation #2: Why isn't the project I assigned to you done?
Manager Statement #3: Yes. That sounds right.
Translation #3: Of course that's the project. Do you speak English?
Manager Statement #4: That's OK. I don't really expect you to work on the weekend or be able to go back in time and complete the project prior to me even asking you about it.
Translation #4: This is unacceptable. I expect you to work on the weekend or go back in time and complete the project before I even ask you about it.
Manager Statement #5: Oh, and don't worry. This won't come up in your project assessment either. It's really not that important.
Translation #5: You better be worried because this is sure as hell going into your project assessment. It's really an important project.
Identifying those who use reversespeak can be difficult as users of reversespeak all have their own style. Some use it as a form of sarcasm. Others use it as a way to hide their actual contempt for a particular person or thing. Others still, just because they are compulsive liars and don't really know what the truth is.
Proceed with caution when engaging someone who is a common user of reversespeak. In this day and age, you may end up finding yourself as a statistic if you're not listening closely.
#34 Saying the Opposite [Stuff Accountants Like]
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