Hank Paulson Only Speaks the Truth: LIVE!

Due to a sketchy Internet connection we didn't live blog Hank "Lead Pipe" Paulson's testimony this morning. They just broke for lunch and plus HP will be "taking care of something". To get caught up on the big guy scaring the coveralls off Ken Lewis, go to DealBreaker.

UPDATE: Round 2.

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Volcker. You've Been Warned.

It's been well documented that Barney Frank can a get a little sassy when he's crossed.

It's also no secret that ole' Barn is willing to pull the bazooka on the FASB for the good of banks the American People.

Apparently, Paul Volcker is less enthusiastic about this approach:

But he said that while more international consistency is required in accounting standards, politicians should avoid excessive involvement. "Political bodies in Europe and the United States or any other country are simply not the appropriate venue for reaching well-considered judgments that can be enforced internationally."

WHAT?!? You mean the brilliant minds of Barney Frank and Maxine Waters may not be the best people to come to "well-considered judgments" on accounting standards?

Mr. Volcker, we implore you... Reconsider this line of thinking before find yourself another victim of the Sass from Mass.

Volcker says US growth possible this year but strong recovery unlikely; 'long slog' in store [Los Angeles Times via AccountancyAge] Sphere: Related Content

Ladies and Gentlemen, Our Elected Officials at Work

Regular readers know the affection that the Tramp has for California Rep. Maxine Waters.

Dealbreaker has the best video of the day. The first six seconds are priceless awkwardness. Sphere: Related Content

Bring in the Clowns

Greatest Show on Earth...

Bloomberg is reporting that Nancy Pelosi is going to "push for a comprehensive inquiry" into the causes of the collapse of Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers, and Merrill Lynch because "three-quarters of Americans " want to know.

So let me get this straight: 225 million people want to know what caused the failure of these firms and that will help them how exactly?

Oh, I know: NASCAR Dads and Stepford Wives will definitely be watching the hours and hours of interrogation by politicians like Maxine Waters and then Goldman Sachs conspiracy will gain some traction.

It's all so crystal.

Pelosi Wall Street Probe Modeled on Pecora After Market Crash [Bloomberg]

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What Do We Want? The Right to Value our Level 3 Assets However We Want! When Do We Want it? NOW!

Lots of commentary from all ends of the blogosphere about the end of mark-to-market accounting for the banks. Not exactly the most sexy topic that's out there but it's getting lots of ink because the clowns in Congress are pretty much blaming it for everything but the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa.

As one commenter put it, "Blaming mark-to-market accounting for the banking sector's woes is like blaming a polar bear stranded on an ice flow for global warming."

Now the best part: God Goldman Sachs is saying that relaxing the rule isn't going to help investors' confidence in the banks anyway. SHEESH.

Throughout this whole dog and pony show, the oracles of double-entry accounting at the FASB really proved themselves to be spineless. Per usual modus operandi, Congress threatens to take a bigger role in overseeing accounting rules and the FASB gets nervous and ultimately bows to the wishes of BFrank, Bingo to the Max, and Ed Perlmutter, who introduced HR 1349 which would form the Financial Accounting Oversight Board, which, if enacted into law, would get to whip the shit out of the FASB whenever it wanted to.

Which I guess would be necessary because when lawmakers forget about the FASB, that allows them to sit up in CT and write rules that actually reflect some transparency. Once those rules become a problem for companies that contribute money to political campaigns, then Congress gets the torches out and beancounter witchhunt is on.

Dartboard valuation seems to be a more fun way for banks to figure out what pieces of paper are worth anyway. Sphere: Related Content

G20 Protests

The Guardian is live blogging the protesting in the Old Empire. Sounds like fun!

G20 summit and protests: live blog [The Guardian] Sphere: Related Content

FROM THE NOT-SO-SURPRISING DEPARTMENT: Maxine Waters Doesn't Make a Damn Bit of Sense

Maxine Waters is doing her constituents proud again today folks. In today's version of AIG crucifixion, she's throwing out the whole Goldman Sachs conspiracy theory as it relates to the eventual dismantling of the entire economy so that GS can be the supreme ruler of the universe. This is sure to fly with the likes of T. Geith and Ben.

Can't BFrank put a stop her batshit insane rambling? I mean, the 5 minutes (or wtf it is) allotted to each member of the subcommittee is one thing but if a committee member can't form a clear and coherent question that is of some relevance to the hearing in under 30 seconds, the chairperson should have the power to call a forfeit for the rest of the time and the cost to the taxpayers of said time should be tracked. Maxine Waters (and reps like this) have clearly done more damage to the poor saps at CSPAN than can possibly be quantified.

Maxine Waters Puts On Her Goldman Sachs Conspiracy Hat [Clusterstock via Daily Intel] Sphere: Related Content

I Know What This Looks Like...We Recommend to All Our Professionals to Use Their Prudent Judgment When Making Travel Arrangements

Well, now you've gone and done it JP Morgan. Apparently, you missed all the populist outrage news re: relatively small amounts of money.

There are conflicting reports between Mickey Mouse ABC News and Reuters about the J to the P buying two Gulfstreams and building a hangar to park them in.

The fact that there is a rumor going around about this suggests, at the very least, these potential transactions were discussed at Jamie Dimon's Scrooge McDuck-esque gold coin swimming pool.

The Barney Frank/Maxine Waters/Chuck Grassley batshit insane grandstanding burn all bankers, accountants, and anything w/ "AIG" in it at the stake remains fluid.

JP Morgan denies report it plans to buy new planes [Reuters] Sphere: Related Content

Links 3/19/2009 - AIG Edition

I seriously don't know where to begin re: AIG, bonuses, Congressional grandstanding, death threats, T. Geith, etc. etc. etc. I hopefully found some of the better highlights.

For those of you really interested. NYT piece is excellent. [New York Times]

Non-profit journalistic point of view [Democracy Now!]

Hannity bashing (who thinks they [i.e. the AIG execs] should keep the money) via Reason [Reason Hit & Run]

The new name is really the most important thing. [Dealbreaker]

Daily Intel does it again...The Richhunt! [Daily Intel] Sphere: Related Content

Links 3/17/2009

Soap box, Chuck Grassley edition [Dealbreaker]

They have banks like this in Nebraska [Dealbreaker]

AIG. Bad news, all the time [Zero Hedge] Sphere: Related Content