Counting to Ten Helped us From Completed Throwing a Conniption Over This

Our feelings have been made known, on several occasions, regarding the FASB's inability to get the stones to tell Congress that they need to butt the fuck out when it comes to accounting rules.

So when Bob Herz, the FASB Chair, makes speeches at the National Press Club saying, "The investing public expects and deserves unbiased and transparent financial information that is not skewed to favor particular transactions, companies or industries," we almost blow a gasket, because, um, "WHAT HAVE WE BEEN SAYING TO YOU BOB?!? HAVE YOU BEEN LISTENING?"

The only thing that stops us is that maybe, just maybe, this is some super-duper double secret strategy to get the Sass from Mass and Maxine "Wait Until I Get My Hands On You, Goldman" Waters to step off from trying to boss around the Oracles of Double-Entry Accounting. Pipe dream? It's poss.

True, Herz and company would do well to take some lessons in snark, maybe courtesy of Jr. Deputy Accountant (who, we're sure would oblige), in order to give the give the big middle finger to Congress in person but I suppose baby steps are probably better than continued groveling.

FASB's Herz slams politicization of accounting [Reuters] Sphere: Related Content

Volcker. You've Been Warned.

It's been well documented that Barney Frank can a get a little sassy when he's crossed.

It's also no secret that ole' Barn is willing to pull the bazooka on the FASB for the good of banks the American People.

Apparently, Paul Volcker is less enthusiastic about this approach:

But he said that while more international consistency is required in accounting standards, politicians should avoid excessive involvement. "Political bodies in Europe and the United States or any other country are simply not the appropriate venue for reaching well-considered judgments that can be enforced internationally."

WHAT?!? You mean the brilliant minds of Barney Frank and Maxine Waters may not be the best people to come to "well-considered judgments" on accounting standards?

Mr. Volcker, we implore you... Reconsider this line of thinking before find yourself another victim of the Sass from Mass.

Volcker says US growth possible this year but strong recovery unlikely; 'long slog' in store [Los Angeles Times via AccountancyAge] Sphere: Related Content

Shocker of the Day: Congress is Owned by the Financial Services Industry

Transparent financial statements are so damn inconvenient anyway...

As speculated earlier here and reported today by the WSJ here, banks and other financial industry lobbyists didn't like the idea of the FASB wanting everyone to consolidate their off-balance sheet entities.

This after everyone threw a conniption over mark-to-market and had to play grabass with Congress in order to get that rule diluted to the more attractive idea of mark-to-whatever the fuck we say.

Barney Frank will certainly get to the bottom of this little annoyance as well and the FASB will fold like a cheap lawn chair. You know, per usual.

Financial Groups Try Delay Accounting Rule, Report Says [DealBook] Sphere: Related Content

FASB Passes Rule, Bankers Vow to Find New Ways to Hide Risky Assets and Massive Liabilities

So, the Oracles of Double-Entry Accounting passed amendments to FIN 46(R) yesterday: “The desire to provide additional transparency to investors was the key driver behind today’s decisions.”

Ok, so what that really means is that the FASB passed new rules on the interpretation of the off-balance sheet accounting rules originally issued in the shitstorm that followed Enron's little booboo. Banks were doing some fancy-schmancy things to get those not-so-good loans made to the dead and unemployed people off their books. The new amendment will force banks, as the party who absorbs a majority of expected losses or returns, to move tons of assets and their related liabilities onto their balance sheets.

Banks, shockingly, didn't approve:

The rule change will hurt banks and the economy by discouraging lending, said Wayne Abernathy, executive vice president at the American Bankers Association in Washington. “It will affect fee income and the economy’s ability to rebound on the lending side,” he said in an interview before the vote.

The good news is that Barney Frank has already gotten wind of this and Congress will soon be writing the accounting rules and we can all get back to living in a world where anyone can buy a house.

FASB Rule Will Force Banks to Move Assets Onto Books [Bloomberg] Sphere: Related Content

What Do We Want? The Right to Value our Level 3 Assets However We Want! When Do We Want it? NOW!

Lots of commentary from all ends of the blogosphere about the end of mark-to-market accounting for the banks. Not exactly the most sexy topic that's out there but it's getting lots of ink because the clowns in Congress are pretty much blaming it for everything but the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa.

As one commenter put it, "Blaming mark-to-market accounting for the banking sector's woes is like blaming a polar bear stranded on an ice flow for global warming."

Now the best part: God Goldman Sachs is saying that relaxing the rule isn't going to help investors' confidence in the banks anyway. SHEESH.

Throughout this whole dog and pony show, the oracles of double-entry accounting at the FASB really proved themselves to be spineless. Per usual modus operandi, Congress threatens to take a bigger role in overseeing accounting rules and the FASB gets nervous and ultimately bows to the wishes of BFrank, Bingo to the Max, and Ed Perlmutter, who introduced HR 1349 which would form the Financial Accounting Oversight Board, which, if enacted into law, would get to whip the shit out of the FASB whenever it wanted to.

Which I guess would be necessary because when lawmakers forget about the FASB, that allows them to sit up in CT and write rules that actually reflect some transparency. Once those rules become a problem for companies that contribute money to political campaigns, then Congress gets the torches out and beancounter witchhunt is on.

Dartboard valuation seems to be a more fun way for banks to figure out what pieces of paper are worth anyway. Sphere: Related Content

Links 3/27/2009

Apparently Jamie Dimon is the Rodney Dangerfield of mega-bank CEOs [Daily Intel]

This will no doubt result in more hearings in which BFrank, Maxine "Bingo" Waters, and friends will continue with brilliant soap-box moments. [Dealbreaker]

Now he tells us! [Reuters] Sphere: Related Content